Opening Day Snap Judgments

OK. We’ve had two full days of baseball – I don’t count games played outside of the U.S., especially when they involve the A’s and Mariners. I feel like this is enough time for me to make some all-encompassing conclusions about where the season is heading…

Cubs fans should just kill themselves.

Since he's one of the few actual subscribers to this blog, I feel obliged to urge my good friend Luke to not take this personally.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t dislike the Cubbies. At times, I’ve even pulled for them. However, unlike their fan base, the few times that I’ve rooted for them have been quickly followed by a moment of clarity in which I realize that it’s a lost cause. It took the Cubs all of one game to surrender a ninth inning run that ended up beating them. It only adds to the sting that perennial disappointment(s) Ian Desmond and the Nationals were the ones that doled out the loss.

As someone who will never live and die with the Cubs, I kind of hope that they keep being lovable losers. I remember rooting for the Red Sox to win it all in '04. I figured that Boston loved its team to death and deserved a break. I felt good when they won it all, but it took about .0000001 seconds for my joy to be overtaken by every Baaaaahhhston Red Sawwx fan who had ever followed the team - even if it was only for the last week - to regale me with their lifelong sob story of how tortured they were and how nothing in sports could ever top their victory.

I used to like Boston. Now, I root against every godforsaken team that inhabits that hellhole. I wouldn't want to have to turn on Chicago as well.

For Cubs fans, at least Friday's game was tight – a 2-1 affair which brings me to my next point.

Aces are good.

I’ll defend to the death the assertion that the hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a baseball. It’s even harder when it’s Opening Day and all 30 teams have their best arm on the mound.

Thursday and Friday were packed with aces dealing their nasty stuff late into games. Jared Weaver, Johan Santana and Roy Halladay all got through their first starts without surrendering so much as a run. Then there were guys like Tommy Hanson and Erik Beddard who pitched incredibly well, but had the gall to give up a single run and get hung out to dry for a loss.

A lot of people don’t appreciate a good pitcher’s duel. I get that. I’m not going to be like a billion soccer fans and try to paint a beautiful word picture of why you should enjoy the artistry of what is going on. However, those of you who can appreciate a great pitcher bringing his best stuff to the mound were no doubt just as impressed – and entertained – as I was with many of the opening games.

One hitter that had a tough opening day is my next point of focus...

Ryan Braun is going to have a long season

There’s just no avoiding it.

I have my own thoughts about how his PED test should or shouldn’t have been handled, but that’s beside the point. While Braun certainly caught a break in getting his 50-game suspension overturned, that only leaves 50 more games for him to either raise more suspicions from doubters.

Braun went 0-for-5 in his first game. By all accounts, that’s nothing noteworthy. There are far better hitters that have started off seasons far worse (Hell, Albert Pujols hit into three double plays in last season’s opener). But that doesn’t matter when it comes to Braun and it won’t all season.

The only way that Braun can vindicate himself is to put up the same MVP numbers as last season – a tall order to ask of any player – and provide a handful of clean urine samples along the way.

It’s a lose-lose. Anything short of a repeat MVP performance, and the naysayers will doubt Braun’s 2011 numbers. On top of that, every tape-measure shot will have his detractors wanting another cup of urine before he touches home plate.

After the fallout of the Mitchell Report, anyone even thinking about putting up MVP numbers needs to stay a Ryan Braun moonshot away from anything that could even be considered to be an illegal substance for the next decade or two.

And speaking of long-lasting consequences of stuff that happened in the 80s and 90s...

Retro stuff is awesome

For too many years, I’ve suffered through teams ushering in new lines of sartorial disasters.

I don’t know whether someone actually thought things like the Blue Jays’ charcoal home uniforms or the Pirates and Braves’ red nightmares were good ideas, or that they’d just bring in a few thousand dollars in sales for misguided fans that just have to have every jersey possible.

Even if the latter is the case, it’s good to see that teams are at least making good changes to their look. I credit the Royals and Blue Jays for getting the trend started by bringing back the baby blue unis over the last couple of years, and now more teams are getting into the mix.

The Blue Jays have taken another step forward by stepping back to their uniforms of the early 90’s. Not only do the new/old duds look better, but they also have a track record of success.

The Indians also look better with their old-timey block-lettered home uniforms. The illegible over-italicized “Indians” script of years past never looked good and the only reason that no one criticized it was that the team was so bad, it never made it on TV for people to see.

Finally, with a ray of sunshine in a year that is certain to be cloudy and depressing (yet again) the Orioles have brought back their goofy, but cool, cartoon logo. I was happy enough to see the cartoon Oriole back on the helmets, but the retro black and white hats put a delicious cherry on top of the shit sundae that O’s fans valuing actual on-field production will have to eat this season.

But, to get back into the 2012 season...

The new Wild Card playoff round will be great

I’ve got to hand it to Major League Baseball on this one. It usually takes them a decade to find a good idea and get around to implementing it, but this is a pleasant change of pace.

At first, I cringed at the thought of two more playoff teams. One of the things that has always made the baseball playoffs more special to me is the fact that not many teams get to participate. Two years ago, the Seattle Seahawks won their division in the NFL with a 7-9 record and it’s no surprise to see a team or two from both conferences of the NBA and NHL make the playoffs despite a losing record every year.

More teams in the postseason can lead to watered down competition, but in MLB’s case, there are still just 10 out of 30 total teams that will be moving on.

The final day of the 2011 regular season was, without a doubt, the best day of regular season baseball ever. Two epic collapses highlighted the drama, but all four games that determined which teams stayed at home or moved on turned into classics. Combine that with the one-game playoff for the AL Central title in both 2009 and 2010 and we’ve had three straight years of drama at the end of September. With the new – winner take all – round for a pair of wild card teams from both leagues, Major League Baseball has basically guaranteed a night of do-or-die excitement at the end of every regular season from now on.

Kudos, Selig.

Well. That’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll be back in a few days with an NHL postseason post where I’ll probably openly root for Sidney Crosby to get his consciousness knocked back into third grade.